Dear Brother
by onyx-dreams
Summary: Female Dalish Warden contemplating Alistair after the Calling took him to the Deep Roads.


Dear Brother  
by onyx-dreams

I do not own any part of DA:O. I wish I lived it though.

-

Lyna sat at the table staring into her mug of Ferelden beer. Not necessarily paying it any mind as drops of condensation dripped down the sides, but it gave her something to look at while she contemplated the recent events playing out in her mind.

They had been through so much together over the years. It seemed hard to remember the time before she met him. A worn smile broke out on her face as she remembered her first sight of him. Being Dalish, she had never really taken time to look at shemlen like him, but as he stood and wheedled the Circle mage she was intrigued. Intrigued and disgusted at herself once she realized she deemed him attractive. The curve of his lips, the slight shadow where a beard was attempting to grow in, tousled short hair. And he was so tall. At least to her. She came to realize he was of average height, but as she was Dalish, any shem was tall.

She had been so cruel to him due to her initial attraction. Doing things that would drive him away from her like killing that soldier right before his eyes. She would have befriended Morrigan anyways but she probably wouldn't have rubbed his face in that friendship as much. She wasn't normally so cruel. In fact, back before she had ever met Alistair she had convinced Tamlen to let a group of shemlen free as they posed no threat to her. Many of her clan thought Lyna too lenient considering that shemlen had brutally murdered her father. But...she refused to live in hate. What was done, was done. Clinging to it so that it ruled her life was no way to live. So she forgave the shemlen their trangression and vowed to allow everyone she met, Dalish, human, Qunari or otherwise, to prove themselves contrary to any preconcieved notions. That was what allowed her little rag tag group to come together and accomplish so much. She stopped hating her Templar companion when they first approached Redcliff and he revealed his heritage.

The terror in his eyes as he explained and begged her not to cast him out. His fear that she would hate him more for something he could not help.  
How he looked and her attraction to him was also not his fault. So she concluded that though her people would never take her back, she would give Alistair a chance.

And how amazing that decision was. She had found in Alistair a home. A clan if you will. He accepted her with no questions asked. He accepted her though her nasty streaks of denial, through betrayal, through her grief at losing Tamlen a second time. He always picked her up when she fell, took wounds when she lost concentration so that she wouldn't suffer. Many a time she was convinced he would take his own life if she but asked him. "Your wish is my command, my Lady."

_Reminiscing on our indestructible days,_  
_The party never seemed to end,_  
_We donkey-punched the night away._

_Sin after sin_  
_25/7_  
_Some risky Business my friend._  
_Fortune Seemed to favor us_  
_Round every dark and twisted bend._

They had been the perfect team during combat. She was also a warrior, but preferred two weapons. She was much faster than Alistair, but he could take a beating much better. Sometimes it was like he was a wall that darkspawn would beat themselves to death against.

Ah yes...death...time had run out. The archdemon had been slain at the cost of loaning out Alistair like a breeding stallion. It still made her uncomfortable what had to be done to achieve this outcome. Alistair refused to tell her about the night he spent with Morrigan. Any time she brought up the subject he looked pained. "Lyna...it is best you didn't know. I still don't care for Morrigan but she is your friend. And I will not knowingly ruin that for both of you."

They had rebuilt the Ferelden Grey Wardens. This time treaties had been placed anew amongst all the races and cities of Ferelden, swearing that complacency would not fall on them before the next Blight. To enforce this, all cities pledged to send some of their sons and daughters to, at minimum, bear witness to the Legion of the Dead fighting the darkspawn in the halls beneath Orzammar. They could fight if they wished, but all had to see and carry back tales of what happened in the Deep Roads.

_No you can't cheat death, can't outrun the grim reaper_  
_You can't cheat death, can't outrun the grim reaper_

The years had been mild since the Blight, but as any Grey Warden knew upon the Joining, years were numbered. Though Grey Wardens were sworn to not have romance in the ranks, being both Commander and Hero of Ferelden offered Lyna exceptions to the rule. She and Alistair had enjoyed eachother for over 25 years, but the dreams were coming back. The Calling had entered his blood to take him away from her. The moment she realized what was happening she had raged and screamed. All her Dalish temper and glory had come forth as she railed against what she had known would one day happen. No matter what, she lost to the Darkspawn. She lost Tamlen twice, she lost her clan, she lost her old age, and now she would lose Alistair.

She was tired of losing to it. She may have beaten the archdemon but Darkspawn still existed. She defeated the Blight, but more would come. It was infuriating.

After she had gotten over the denial, the sadness crushed her. Every night she prayed to the Creators that they would gift her also with the Calling, that she would be allowed to die with Alistair. Alas, every mile they drew closer to Orzammar she was left without the dreams.

_This glass I raise is heavy_  
_Heavy as my heart this day_  
_The Reaper slipped right past us_  
_Bastard stole your breath away_

_The Reaper slipped right past us_  
_Bastard stole your breath away_

_We raise our heavy glass to you and our indestructible days_  
_May heavens call to you_  
_May stars align and light your way._

They had all arrived as called upon. The whole party minus Morrigan. Somehow Lyna knew that if she could have been reached, she would have shown up to say goodbye to him. Through the short time of trekking to kill the Archdemon, the Dalish knew that what had once been bitter hatred had slowly turned into some demented form of sibling rivalry that ensured they wouldn't kill eachother. So no love, but certainly not hatred either.

The last night in Orzammar had been a drunken party, reminiscing on old adventures, and telling of the new ones since they had split up. Tears and laughter had abounded. Her last night sleeping at his side had been full of desperate love making. She wanted nothing more than to have something of him to remember by. Again she cursed the Darkspawn as even the ability to carry his child had been torn from her. Never had there been a child between two Wardens. A Warden was capable of having offspring so long as the other partner was untainted, but it was difficult to do so and often many still borns had to be suffered. Many women were unable to bear a Warden lover for this reason.

That night had passed too quickly. As they stood before the last gate leading to the Deep Roads, Lyna had begged him to let her go with him to the Abyss. To fight as they had in the past. Together. And to write the final chapter of their lives and end the story together. But no matter her begging or tears, Alistair simply kissed her softly. "My Lady, my Love, my Life, on this final day, I cannot grant your wish. I must face them alone. But I will await you in the Beyond for when the Calling takes your blood and leads you here. May you live many more years yet."

And then...and then he was gone. The Legion of the Dead told me he had carved the furthest path anyone ever has in the deep roads. Over a hundred Darkspawn dead by his hand before he finally succumbed to his wounds. His mutilated body had been retrieved a day later for which I was greatful, for more often than not the Darkspawn drag the dead to whatever lair they spawn from as a revolting prize.

The last of the group all stood around his funeral pyre and gave one last toast as his ashes drifted into the air. Lyna then committed herself to awaiting for when it was her turn to slay many and finally meet her love in the Beyond.

_Farewell dear friend, fare thee well dear brother_  
_Farewell dear friend, fare thee well dear brother_

_A sad and joyful toast to you_  
_Heavy is my heart this day_  
_Once more into the breach dear friend_  
_Donkey punch the night away._

_Once more into the breach dear friend_  
_Donkey punch the night away._

"Commander?"

Lyna finally glanced up from her contemplation of her mug and gave a smile as she took in the boy's dirty blonde hair and crooked grin. In the end...she finally got something the Blight didn't take from her...

"Yes Duncan?"

He smiled, showing multiple gaps from where teeth had been knocked out during sword training.

"Can you tell me about my father again? About the day he fought his final battle? In the Deep Roads?"

Lyna reached out and took the boy into a tight hug.

"Of course son..."


End file.
